Happy New Year, everybody. 2008 is here. Almost immediately following the champagne cork popping is someone resolving that “This year, I will… (insert applicable change you want to make).” Sadly, surveys show that far less than 15% of New Year resolutions will be kept. That is an appalling failure rate yet it does not prevent us from eagerly making this investment.
This year, I encourage all of us to look at those things we want to accomplish, whether grand or small, in a new way. We can give ourselves much greater opportunities to succeed by breaking our goals into more manageable pieces, mileposts along the path that can help us gauge our progress without overwhelming us with all there is to do.
When we set a goal, it is often WAY out in the future. We want to stop a habit we've done for decades, lose enough weight to fit into those pants we haven’t worn in years, get into shape with cardio exercise at least 5 times per week, pay off all our credit card debt within the year, write a book, or revamp our company into double-digit profits.
When we are in the fervor of setting our resolutions, we are adamant that we will keep them. This time it’s different. This time we mean it. So what happens? Life happens. Everyone I know is fully caught up in the momentum of life. Making major changes requires such focus, time and energy that is well beyond what is possible for most mortals.
I believe the problem is not with the resolution but in the approach we take. We jump into our new behavior with such zeal and energy – eating only celery for two meals a day, hitting the gym for a 2-hour workout the first few days, sitting down and writing for 4 hours on the book we've always intended to write. Within a very short time, we begin looking for (and finding) an excuse as to why just for this one meal, this one day, this one writing session, we can skip it. One missed session turns into a couple, which turns into a lost opportunity for change. Disheartened, we tell ourselves that we'll do it next time. Sound familiar?
If you break down your goals into manageable pieces, making small and reasonable commitments that you can easily keep, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish. I have a dear friend, Cynthia, who in her mid-30's had never exercised. Her weight had soared and she learned she was diabetic. She knew her only chance was to begin some type of regular exercise.
Here's what she did. Cyn made a commitment to herself that she would put on her walking shoes and shorts, go out to the mailbox at the end of the sidewalk, and then return to her air conditioned home. That's all. No matter how she felt, no matter how much she wanted to walk more, she went no further. She did this daily for seven days.
The next week, Cyn put on her exercise clothes, went down to the mailbox, turned left and went to the end of her driveway and returned. The entire distance was less than 30 yards. This was hardly cardio exercise in anyone's book. Yet, with wonderful patience, Cyn kept at it. The next week, she went to the end of the block, the next to the 2nd block. To her delight, and the amazement of everyone who knew her, within 3 months, Cynthia was walking 3 miles a day for 5-6 days a week.
I've learned that if I keep the changes I want to make in my life consistent and below the level of suffering, I have a much greater opportunity for success. I can always begin again because my daily goal is manageable, reachable and repeatable.
It is also important to give yourself credit for doing the small steps on a daily basis. Our egos will tell us that this is hardly enough, that the five minutes that was spent on writing where I just sat there and wrote drivel was useless. No, those five minutes are gold. Because often the most difficult part of changing our lives is suiting up and showing up. There is a Zen axiom I’ve found to be invaluable to me in making changes -- "The suffering runner always quits."
Remember to only plan the next baby step. Whenever we schedule something for EVERY day – all we need to do is miss one day and then the inner critic starts carping and the whole plan is trashed. Practice being a kind and sensitive friend when doing inner critic work. Do not engage in faultfinding or sarcasm when you falter.
So if you want to accomplish that goal – start. Start today and do one thing. And tomorrow do another. You can take out the exercise clothes, do jumping jacks for 1 minute, look at the checkbook or bills, write for 5 minutes, or read an article that pertains to your work. Don’t plan what you will do next week or next month. One day at a time and one step at a time gets the job done.
Dennis Tardan is a communications consultant and empowerment trainer. His passion is helping people to communicate their core messages with greater clarity, effectiveness and confidence. His company is Tardan Professional Development and he is based in Texas, USA. www.tardanprodev.com. Write to Dennis at .
